Dating and Dickpics: Episode 14

Yeah, I thought Episode 13 would be the last one for a while too.

 

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Disappointed

As you’re reading this, you probably guessed that my last relationship didn’t work out. There were no hard feelings at the end of it but it was disappointing, to say the least. I did learn some important lessons from it though.

  • I didn’t realise until that relationship that finances are very important to me. My significant other needs to earn as much as me or more and they can’t hold back when it comes to spending but at the same time, they shouldn’t waste money. I feel like we fought about money a lot because I’m a generous person and he was rather frugal.
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I love money

  • I really shouldn’t settle for less than I deserve. I can make some compromises but I shouldn’t make so many that I find myself defending my significant other to my friends and family because they think I can do better. It got to the point where I was just tired of defending him after a while.
  • I need someone who is really bloody romantic. I want to feel like a queen every damn day I’m with someone. Of course, life gets in the way and they may have their off days, but they better value me.
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You better be doing cute stuff like this or you can get lost

  • I’m stronger than I think and I keep true to my words. I said I’d leave if things didn’t improve and that’s exactly what I did. I cried for a day, picked myself up and moved on.
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I am a queen

I can’t be too harsh on him. He wasn’t ready for a relationship; entering something like that takes a lot of maturity and dedication and I don’t think the timing was right for him. He’s got a lot going on. Also…we were just too different. At first it’s what I really liked, but those differences soon became sources of anger and frustration for me.

So I’m back on the dating scene again! I downloaded all sorts of dating apps all over again but I’ve not had a lot of luck. I guess a lot of men on there can’t handle a woman who knows what she wants and want more than one night. However, it’s not all doom and gloom! I did match with one guy whom I’m getting along quite well with. We both work in media so obviously, we spent the first few messages fangirling over our day jobs. I’m not sure if there’s a spark there as we’ve only conversed via text, but I’ve definitely made a new friend if nothing else.

With help from my best friend (love you!), I did something I never usually do: gave out my number in a club. In all fairness, the guy is really cute and we’ve been messaging, thus proving that sometimes, it really is worthwhile to take a risk.

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Always on my phone

I think the biggest news is that I really like one person in particular. I’ve known him for a few months and he’s bloody lovely. Honestly, he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. We get on really well. Does he like me? No idea. I’ve spoken to a few people about it and they all think that, from what I’ve said, he does. I’ve even kept receipts and pulled them up on my phone to show my best friends and they seem to be convinced he does. I don’t know, I guess we’ll have to watch this space!

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Me whenever my crush texts me

Other than that, nothing is new. I’m making the most of the summer and going out regularly. I’m loving life at the moment — my new job is fantastic and I have the most incredible team (albeit there are only three of us). I’m doing what I love as my job and I couldn’t be happier.

#OscarsSoWhite

There has been much warranted controversy surrounding this year’s Oscars because of how whitewashed it is — not one actor of colour has been nominated for an Oscar. Many actors and fans alike have raised their disgust at this blatant oversight, but the problem runs much deeper than many realise. After expressing my opinion on Twitter and being met with white people who are up in arms at the cheekiness of me wanting more media representation of people of colour, I felt it only too necessary to write about this year’s controversy.

The problem with Hollywood lies in its casting. Roles are given to white actors over actors of colour in disproportionate ways. Some casting calls specify that only white actors need apply for the role.

Barely anyone practices colourblind casting, which is something that needs to be implemented across the board. Shonda Rhimes is infamous for colourblind casting and has some of the most racially diverse shows in the TV world. For example, the character Cristina Yang inĀ Grey’s Anatomy was scripted to be a blonde white woman. However, Rhimes’ policy of colourblind casting meant that the role went to the well-deserved Sandra Oh, who is Canadian-Korean.

The solution to Hollywood’s blatant discrimination lies largely in colourblind casting. If you give everyone an even playing field and ignore what their race is, more actors of colour would be cast because they are insanely talented and have had to go through a lot more to become successful, thus showing a depth of character that a white actor might not necessarily have.

Another issue with Hollywood is that movies that only have black actors, for example, are instantly seen as ‘black’ movies and are therefore not as publicised and praised. By categorising such films, Hollywood is saying ‘this film is only for black people, thus it has a limited audience and shouldn’t have as much attention as other films’. It’s funny how you never see an all-white film being dubbed as only having appeal to white people. White is classified as a ‘normal’ film that appeals to all races and all audiences. If this isn’t an obvious double standard, I don’t know what is.

I’m not saying that people should be given roles based solely on their race. That wouldn’t benefit anyone if the actor is undeserving of the role. However, I don’t believe enough actors of colour are being cast in big enough movies that could win Oscars. The roles that receive rave reviews are usually played by white actors. In an industry that can’t even pay actresses the same amount as their male opposites, it’s unsurprising that the industry is continuing a casual oppression of actors of colour. Until colourblind casting becomes a widespread way of doing things, I don’t see that the Oscars will become diverse anytime soon. You know there’s a problem when some of the biggest names in the industry are speaking out, including both black and non-black actors and actresses. I for one would like more diversity and representation in Hollywood. I want to see people on the big screen who look like me, people I can relate to. And unless actors and actresses of colour are given an equal playing field with white actors when it comes to casting, the future looks bleak.