Dating and Dickpics: Episode 7

Sometimes I wonder when exactly I will stop writing D&D. I don’t think it’s going to come to an end any time soon though; the dating pool is seriously shallow at the moment. It’s full of fuckboys and guys who just want to waste your time or completely ignore your stances on key things like politics, children, religion etc. I guess it just means more entertainment for my loyal readers!

As some of you know, I was dating a guy for a few weeks. We really hit it off. He was funny as hell and he was quite interesting. He had a mental health problem so I felt he could relate to me because of mine. I actually think it broke down a lot of barriers because we refused to judge one another and were careful not to say anything insensitive. It was all a bit of a whirlwind really. Things moved pretty fast but we were both alright with it. There was only one issue. He told me on the first date that he was absolutely fine with not having kids and understood and respected that I never wanted them.

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Basically…

But if I’ve learnt anything through my dating woes, it’s that men lie, especially when it comes to the topic of kids. If you bring it up on the first date, they say they’re down with not having kids…only to turn around later and say ‘I thought I could change your mind’. Sorry, but I love myself more than I will ever love any man and I’d lose all self-respect if I did a u-turn on something I have felt and believed in since I was a child myself.

Things were going well until we were messaging one night and we started discussing what our perfect partner would be like and obviously, the children thing came up. He then went away for a couple of hours and allowed his dad to completely influence his decision, saying that he couldn’t live with the potential possibility that he may never have kids. I actually tried to think of ways around it in which I didn’t have to compromise on not having children (from experiences within my own family and circle of friends, it’s easier to go from wanting them to not wanting them than vice-versa). But in the end, he wasn’t prepared to entertain anything I was bringing to the table. I don’t even think that the children thing would’ve broken us up, to be honest. He had no sense of direction and his priorities were all wrong whereas I’m very headstrong, so we would’ve gone our separate ways because of that.

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Bitchslap and move on

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and that can only mean one thing: another year without being able to celebrate it. Consistency is key, guys. 22 years and counting. Anyway, I’m planning on spoiling myself and reminding myself that I do have love in my life, irreplaceable love from my friends and my family which is ultimately the most important kind of love. But you know, a guy to snuggle up with would be nice. But I have a bottle of vodka to snuggle up with so it’s essentially the same thing.

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Let’s be honest, this is how we’re all spending Valentine’s Day

Now, for the usual roundup of dirtbags I encounter on the internet.

 

israel

Talk about counting your chickens before they hatch…this guy was genuinely prepared to move from Israel for me.

perv

So you think it’s perfectly acceptable to message a girl who is less than half your age? In what world is that okay? I felt so creeped on when I read this message, especially considering I wrote on my profile that if a guy is over 32, he needn’t bother messaging me.

gross2

I’ll never understand why some guys think it’s acceptable to just ask sexual questions on the internet. Would you go up to someone in the street and ask them when they last had sex? Believe it or not, the people behind their computer screens are real. They have feelings and they don’t like to be sexually harassed online.

fuckboy

Guys, when a lady’s profile says that she is looking for dating and something serious, do not then ask for casual sex. You’re asking a stranger for sex. That’s desperate. Has it ever worked? Who can honestly say that they met the love of their life on a dating website by asking them if they wanted sex?

picky

Apparently insulting a girl is the best way to get her. Calling me ‘picky’ is never going to work. So sorry that I have high standards. #sorrynotsorry

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Sometimes I wonder if people bother reading anything in my profile. You’re 39. You’re 17 years older than me. You were an adult when I was born. End of discussion.

girl

This is an entirely new technique that I was baffled by. Now, we all know I’m superficial. I’ve rejected people based on the way they look. I’m not particularly proud of it, but I don’t see the point in being with someone I don’t find physically attractive. When this girl messaged me, my first thought was ‘who the hell gets their friend to do the talking for them? And who thinks they’re going to get anywhere without a single picture of themselves?’ I couldn’t even respond to this one.

ewwww

Firstly, calling someone ‘sexy’ is not a good compliment. Secondly, I burst out laughing when I saw this and absolutely had to respond. I’ll give him credit, he did say ‘okay cool’ after I responded.

In other news:

  • I had a dream that Ed Sheeran was my boyfriend and I never wanted to wake up.
  • I went on a date at the weekend with a really great guy. He’s attractive, funny and really intelligent. Maybe my ice cold heart will melt with this one.
  • I’m buying myself a present for Valentine’s Day. Any excuse.
  • True love is basically Netflix, booze and snacks.
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I woke up like this

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