Dating and Dickpics: Episode 15

This one isn’t following the usual pattern of Dating and Dickpics, namely because of the unexpected news of the season: I have a boyfriend.

That’s right, I have a boyfriend. It’s still a novelty to tell people ‘I’m in a relationship’ and I’m not going to lie, changing my relationship status on Facebook was incredibly satisfying.

Remember the sweet guy I mentioned last time? I ended up telling him how I felt, he said he felt the same but we should take it slow…so that’s exactly what we did. And here we are now, in a relationship and being as cute as hell. We’re cheesy, cute and charming and we love it. Honestly, he’s the best guy I’ve dated. I’ve never been with someone so wonderful. He’s so thoughtful and he makes me smile so much that my cheeks hurt.

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Snapshot of what me and bae are like together

This has been going on for a couple of months now, so I decided to do the decent thing and come clean to my dad. For those of you who are unaware, my dad is liberal but with a catch. The catch being that he can’t help but conform to the patriarchal stereotype of an overprotective dad. You see it all the time in popular culture – dads are there to scare off their daughter’s partners, be overprotective and warn their daughters about the ‘dangers of dating’. Sure, he’s ‘modern’ in the sense that I can do whatever I want, but when it comes to dating, having a boyfriend and doing other things, it’s something he’ll never quite accept. A self-proclaimed feminist, he’s all for the women in his family doing what the men do and he’s always told me that I can achieve anything, irrespective of my gender, so he’s never held me back because I’m a woman. But mention me dating guys and it’s like a red rag to a bull! He doesn’t get angry, but it went down a little like this.

‘Hey dad, you know how you said you wanted me and my brother to see you not just as a dad, but as a friend? I’m taking you up on that offer. I have some news.’

After this little introduction, my dad is like this:

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I’m listening, tell me more…

‘I have a boyfriend. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months. I’m not going to tell you everything about him because I don’t want to jinx it, but you’ll meet him after six months or so.’

My dad’s facial expression then took a turn for the worse…

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I need a drink to deal with this.

So he took a sip of his drink. I was all ‘ah yes, my boyfriend is lovely, we’re taking it slow, we’re not doing any tings, he makes me really happy etc.’ thinking that it would ease his mind.

He reacted like this:

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Millie, please stop talking. I don’t want to hear this shit.

My mum (who is a certified babe) tried to jump in and help me out by asking if my dad wanted to know anything specifically about my boyfriend or would like to meet him earlier. My dad finally broke his silence (he had been screaming internally the entire time, I’m sure).

‘I’ve heard enough. I don’t want to know anything. Keep me in the dark. I’ll meet him when the time is right but there is no rush.’

‘Would you like to know anything else, dad?’

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‘ABSOLUTELY NOT.’

He then went about eating his dinner and I left because it was bloody awkward and I wanted the ground to open and swallow me up.

We haven’t spoken about my relationship since and I’m more than happy to keep it that way. Obviously, I tell my mum everything because she’s cool and a little nosy; we also have that kind of chilled out relationship where I can tell her anything without being judged for it.

Rest assured, there will definitely be a follow up as and when my boyfriend meets my family. We’re all crazy so it should be a very interesting experience!

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