Dating and Dickpics: Episode 9

I can’t believe I haven’t written an installment of the prestigious Dating and Dickpics since February. I’m shocked at myself.

Since the chapter of my tragic love life, a lot has happened. There have been interesting developments in my career and I feel like I’m finally getting somewhere.

In my previous installment of D&D, I mentioned that I had a date with someone who propositioned me on Twitter. It was all very innocent as we’d had some banter about having disabilities and football. It all came about because of a show called The Undateables, which airs on Channel 4. As an avid social media user, I couldn’t resist tweeting whilst watching and supposedly, neither could he. Anyway, we seemed to get along so we followed each other on Twitter and pencilled in a date.

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I thought I’d get it…

Our first date was a laugh. We met up in Camden (my usual haunt) and had quite a few cocktails. By all accounts, we got on well. He wasn’t exactly what I was expecting (for one, I expected a deeper voice) but he seemed nice and intelligent. After our first date, we started texting non-stop and arranged another date, but this time nearby his university. I was intrigued because I’d actually applied to UCL for my undergraduate degree but decided to turn it down in favour of Exeter. That date also went swimmingly well. I was beginning to like him quite a bit. We spoke everyday and things were, by all accounts, going well.

Then things got weird, fast. He suddenly maintained a radio silence for a few days. I confronted him about it and told him that rather than playing games, it was just better if he was honest. My suspicions were confirmed: he was avidly trying to blank me. Why? Apparently I’m ‘too much’ and ‘too excitable’. He thought it was fine to be passionate about things, but not to the extent that I was. He didn’t get why the small things in life made me happy. Now, as someone with severe depression, if I didn’t hang on to these little things, I’d probably spend the majority of each day crying my eyes out.

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#depression #mentalhealth

I just couldn’t believe the audacity. You’re blaming me for being…myself? Getting excited about irrelevant stuff like Grey’s Anatomy, pugs and tattoos is just a part of who I am. I was thoroughly offended. When I’ve dated someone and it’s not worked out, it has never been because of my personality. 9/10 times, it’s been because I don’t want kids, or they’re just looking for a side chick. I’ve never had someone complain about what fundamentally makes up my personality.

Another thing I couldn’t quite fathom is why a grown ass man of 30 was trying to avoid me like a teenage boy than be honest and just tell me that he wasn’t interested. And to think the man was doing a Masters…he clearly needs a degree in courtesy more than anything.

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Since that, I haven’t dated much. I haven’t really had the time. I’ve either been working or trying to find work. I’m now working shifts, which makes dating a bit of a minefield. It does, however, mean that I’m more likely to see my best friends as they all work shifts too.

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I did start talking to a guy on a dating app. It seemed like it might go somewhere as we live in the same town, so meeting up wouldn’t be a problem. He seemed decent enough and I was willing to go out on a date with him.

I had just returned from London and received a formal job offer when I got a text from him saying that we should celebrate that very evening. I told him I couldn’t because I was exhausted from a long day and just wanted to stay at home with my mum and celebrate. He was bummed, but let it go. Then he began messaging me about meeting up the next day, which was a Saturday.

Here’s the thing. That Saturday was Eurovision. I haven’t missed a single Eurovision in my life and I wasn’t about to. I’m ever so slightly mad about Eurovision.

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Eurovision > every other day of the year.

So I told him I had pre-made plans and that I wasn’t going to rearrange my plans for a date. We could always do the following Friday as I wasn’t working and I’d be free all afternoon and evening. He wasn’t having it, though. He got all sulky and moody about the fact that I had plans and wasn’t prepared to drop them for someone who is essentially a stranger. He couldn’t get over it. He kept messaging me, saying how disappointed he was, how let down he felt. I was actually livid at this point. You are a stranger. I do not know you. What makes you think that my world revolves around you so much that I’m going to suddenly drop any plans I had just for you? Never mind the fact that he wanted to ‘stay out late’ with me, when I’d made it clear that I don’t like staying out past midnight (unless I’m with my best friends of course — I’m in safe company with them). It all sounded far too creepy for my liking, so I cut him loose. He hasn’t once tried to message me to apologise for his selfish behaviour and to be honest, I’m relieved he hasn’t because I’m sure that if he did apologise, he would somehow try and manipulate the situation for his own gain.

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Of course, I’ve had my dating app/website woes, but I will probably collate those into a Dating and Dickpics 9.5 as there are a lot. It’ll be a picture-heavy post.

  • Why do guys chase you and then go off the grid? This has happened with a suitor who I thought was genuinely interested. Perhaps not.
  • I like the concept of Bumble. It means that you can choose whether or not to talk to the guy you’ve matched with. However, when you do initiate conversation, why don’t they ever reply?
  • I’m fed up of every other man asking me what my ethnicity is. If you want to know, that just means you’re interested in fetishising me, not getting to know me.
  • ‘What that mouth do?’ ‘Lectures you on intersectional feminism.’
  • Everyone hot at my new workplace is either gay or taken.
  • Slowly but surely thinking life as a crazy cat lady would actually be a good future prospect and an increasingly likely one.
  • When is Tom Hiddleston going to just give in and marry me?
  • Coffee is bae.
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