Dating and Dickpics: Episode 5

It’s that time again — time to laugh at the ridiculousness that is my love life. A couple of things first, though.

  • Bridget Jones’ Diary was on television the other night and of course, I watched it. That film resonates with me so much, except I don’t think I’ll quite get the happy ending that she does. Also, I wear better knickers than her.
  • I’ve started seeing someone. More about that in a bit.
  • It didn’t work out with the guy I mentioned in D&D #4.
  • Dating websites just keep delivering absolute treasure.
  • I would definitely bling Drake’s hotline.
I wouldn't stop blinging his hotline

I wouldn’t stop blinging his hotline

Right, so the whole ‘I’m kind of seeing someone thing’. I don’t really know what label we should have but it’s early days and we’re not seeing anyone else. To be honest, knowing what I’m like, I probably couldn’t even find any other person to date me. He’s a nice guy, quite sweet and very polite. On our first date, I really thought it had potential because he was so gentlemanly.  It still does have potential and I guess he does make me happy. But do you ever find someone you like but wish certain things were different? I’m scared. For those of you who watch Grey’s Anatomy, I’m basically like Dr Cristina Yang. I’m not very forthcoming and whilst I like romance, some of it makes me cringe and at times it can just be too much if it’s constant. Cristina freaks out a lot when guys make sweeping gestures because she’s just not used to it and I’m much the same. I think I just need to get used to it. It’s early days so I’m sure with time, I’ll loosen up a little.

She would be my person

She would be my person

Last time, I introduced you all to a cute guy who I was friends with and was going out on a couple of dates with. We had a bit of a thing, I guess, and things were going well. However, he was a bit of a douche in the end, but I had a good time nonetheless. He started playing up so I broke the whole thing off. Besides, I think we both got what we wanted in the end. The funny thing is, as soon as I broke it off with him, he started becoming extremely interested in me, to the point where he was trying to get involved in conversations I was in, constantly looking for any excuse to get my attention etc. It was entertaining, then it became frustrating because guys always want what they can’t have and I wasn’t prepared to go down that route again where there was no promise of anything more serious. I’ve happily moved on but according to various sources, the same can’t be said for him.

As you all know, I go on dating sites. I name and shame. Anyway, before meeting the guy I’m currently dating, I was in conversation with another guy. I didn’t find him physically attractive but I thought we had some things in common so exchanging numbers couldn’t do much harm. However, he went full-blown clingy. He would say the creepiest shit and then try and retract it. He actually thought that he was fourth on my list of ‘ideal men’ (after Tom Hiddleston, Maluma and Drake) although I pretty much told him he had no chance. He was already talking about what we should do on our third and fourth dates despite the fact that he we hadn’t even been on our first date. It was all too much and besides, his personality wasn’t making up for his lack of looks. I politely declined going on a date with him despite him begging to make his ‘wish’ come true and go on a date, even as friends. Correct me if I’m wrong, but friends don’t go on dates, right? All that aside, he wasn’t the kind of friend I needed. Getting ahead of yourself is never attractive to anyone of any sex. You don’t start planning a whole life together when you haven’t even been on one date!

Unimpressed by clingy men

Unimpressed by clingy men

Now, for some gems from dating websites. I’ve screenshotted some absolutely wonderful conversations for you to marvel at.

What a twat

What a twat

Obviously, I’ve written that I’m a feminist on my profile. It’s an important aspect of my life and I can’t even bother considering someone who isn’t a feminist or holds feminist ideals. This guy clearly has no idea what ‘feminism’ actually means. Feminism does focus on men’s issues but guess what? A movement doesn’t have to justify itself to men in order to have meaning to people. The reason why ‘feminism’ is called ‘feminism’ is because women have been oppressed because men have been given all the privilege. However, feminism nowadays does address issues that men face. After all, it’s meninists who make fun out of male rape victims, whereas feminists help male rape victims. And what’s wrong with a movement that promotes women when all of society has promoted men throughout history. I couldn’t even be bothered to argue with this ignorant bastard because it would’ve drained my energy. If you’re that ignorant, I’m not going to help you.

Are you kidding?

Are you kidding?

‘Exotic’ is not a compliment. It is a fetishisation of someone’s race. It’s a microaggression. It means that you’re only interested because I look foreign and ‘different’ to the ‘norm’, therefore you feel like you need to conquer me in order to try something ‘different’. I am not a sexual fantasy, I am a person.

Why do men think this is acceptable online?

Why do men think this is acceptable online?

‘kinkdaddy81’, as he fashions himself, is a prime example of sexual harassment online. Whilst he’s not the worst I’ve encountered, I find it positively bewildering that men think they can go on a dating website and ask people for sex. You wouldn’t do that face to face, so why are you doing it behind a screen? It doesn’t make it acceptable. It is harassment. Also, he wants to ‘introduce’ me to the scene? Why are you assuming that as a young woman, I don’t already know about that scene? There is a wider problem of men thinking it’s perfectly fine to sexually proposition people online. It is harassment, especially when you’re bombarded by scores of men saying similar things. It can make you feel unsafe even in your own home.

So charming, much wow

So charming, much wow

This guy had a real issue. He had an attitude problem and then some. I didn’t reply a few times, mainly because I don’t spend all my time on the website and I don’t check it every day. He kept bombarding me with messages and finally thought the best way to get a woman to reply was by swearing in the first line of his next message. Surely if someone hasn’t replied, it’s best to think ‘wow, maybe they have a life which means they’re not replying to fuckboys like me the whole time!’ or ‘maybe they’re busy’? Or even ‘maybe they’re not interested but I won’t push them’. How can he think things are standing anywhere after the stalkerish amount of messages he sent and the swearing? It’s funny how some men think that the world revolves around them and that as women, we are absolutely 100% required to every fuckboy that exists. Wow. Masculinity’s so fragile.

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